Play Only With Me

Play Only With Me

Recommended For Rental

In Play Only With Me, we revisit the tried and true theme of the psycho bitch who attempts to ruin a guy's life after a casual one-night stand. Most of your newbies know this gimmick from the yuppie angst classic Fatal Attraction, but the present porno is a hardcore homage to the 1971 Clint Eastwood shocker Play Misty For Me (thus the slightly off-balance title bearing a vague resemblance to Eastwood's film).

A couple enters an "apartment" (decorated in Holiday Inn contemporary). The guy - Richard (an early outing for porn super-trooper Joey Silvera) - offers the girl booze and mood music, but she is strangely indifferent. When Richard realizes that the chick, named Kris, is carrying a gun in her handbag, he gets a bit concerned. His worries melt away, however, as soon as they start to screw. Kris, who has a tomboyish quality, turns out to have a bitchin' ass and a nicely proportioned rack and the pair make it in a few positions to the strains of some kind of hippy bluegrass hoedown on the soundtrack.

The next morning Richard wakes up alone to find Kris re-entering his apartment with a bagful of groceries. Hoping to avert any fantasies about shacking up, he tells her he doesn't need "an old lady" and that "last night was only a toss in the hay." Kris seems relatively unfazed by his candor and offers to make him breakfast anyway. End Act 1.

Later that day, Richard calls up his on-again-off-again girlfriend, Janet (played by the lovely Desiree West, one of porn's first genuine African-American superstars) and winds up reconciling with her. She shows up at his pad and they get it on in all the usual postures accompanied by a hodgepodge of track-filler (ranging from what sounds like a choir of castrati to some kind of rock opera rip-off). While they're in in flagrante delicto, Kris calls Richard up and, these being the days before answering machines, he takes the phone off the hook and leaves it on the floor next to the bed. Kris listens in growing rapture as the two moan and groan and proceeds to caress her own moistening muff.

The next morning, however, Kris plays her psycho hand and shows up at Richard's apartment. "Don't you love me anymore?" she demands. He manages to throw her out but is worried that Kris might be dangerous. As if to prove this fact, Kris then calls Richard up while she's getting it on with another dude named Oscar (played by hardcore stalwart John Seeman) and orders Oscar at gunpoint to perform various sex acts with her while she describes them to Richard over the phone. "Do you do this with Janet, Richard?" she demands while Oscar bops her from behind. "Janet's nothing!" Eventually she orders Oscar to jerk off in front of her while Richard listens in stunned silence.

The grand finale comes when Kris shows up at Richard's while he and Janet are lying in bed. She handcuffs the two together and makes Janet diddle herself at gunpoint while she fucks Richard to orgasm. She then makes Janet wipe the cum off her back and, spreading Janet's ebony lips, caresses her coral pussy with the barrel of her pistol. Kris then orders Janet to fuck Richard (Joey Silvera at this point looks as if he is completely whacked out on hallucinogens). A bit of film damage obscures exactly what happens next, but it would appear that Kris decides to bind the two together in the sheets with duct tape while they go at it. She then dresses herself and leaves the apartment.

It's not possible to say that Play Only With Me is either technically adept or dramatically compelling - in fact, it stinks. But apparent newcomer "Dy Ann" (come on, folks, let's put a little more effort into these pseudonyms!) is in truth surprisingly engaging, if not believable, in the role of Kris, the obsessive psychopath. She appears to enjoy being in a position where she can boss the other characters around, brandishing her handgun in a way that reminds one of the weapon's lethal capacity while improvising in a free, larkish manner that makes her characterization fun as well as spooky. Nothing is known about the film's actual production or about its titular producer, Desoto Films.