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Batman V Superman XXX - An Axel Braun Parody box cover

X-Men, Green Lantern, The Flash, Daredevil, The Punisher, Spiderman, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, and many others are comic book heroes many of us have spent our childhood reading about. Being a 80s baby, the way cinema has fleshed out my childhood in such realistic live action movies has blown away all expectations. Rule 34 of course, ever being in effect, has wrought some really good (and some really bad) pornographic parodies of these films. One great parody has recently came out, Batman V Superman XXX, and it’s more than just a bunch of cheesy scenarios assembled to barrel their way into the next fucking scene.

With an all-star cast of Giovanni Francesco as Batman, Ryan Driller as Superman, Alison Tyler as Wonder Woman, Aiden Ashley as Catwoman, Kleio Valentien as Harley Quinn, Brendon Miller as The Joker, Derrick Pierce as Lex Luther, Carter Cruise as Supergirl, and Britney Amber as Maxima, as well as Celeste Star and Lily Cade in the non-sex roles of Lois Lane and Carrie Kelley, respectively, Superman vs Batman XXX shows why it is indeed the "World’s Finest." Axel Braun’s vision brings to mind canonical accuracy that would please horny geeks the world over, with his use of iconic moments and speeches, to his subtle use of the Joker’s idiosyncrasies. All of this coalesces into the best fucking film ever, plus we all get to see just how superheroes and super villains fuck with their insanely intricate rubber suits on!

By far, one of the best scenes involves Batman and Harley Quinn. (Especially given the fact that Arkham Knight just came out, this scene is perfect for those who want to see exactly how it REALLY went down!) Batman beats down the baddies in style and all that’s left is a giggling Quinn who doesn’t seem the least bit phased. After witty back-and-forth tried and true bat banter, the two of them get down to business. Just HOW did she know about Batman’s secret cock flap, anyway!? Not all of Batman’s tools reside in his world famous utility belt, and he shows Harley this the hard way! After enjoying each other in an assortment of positions, Batman paints his own personal bat signal on Harley’s face, but it seems like Harley has the last laugh!

Next up on my list of favorite moments has to be the exchange between Lois Lane, Joker, and Harley Quinn. Each does well in personifying each of their characters to the point where I forgot I was watching a porn flick – until Catwoman arrived and sat on Harley Quinn’s face. If this is what a gathering of super villains look like, I’ll figure out a way to forego the murderous rampage to get to this moment in time. The Joker pounds away at Harley Quinn while Catwoman gives her a healthy taste of her kitty. And what’s with these characters having well-placed cut-outs designed into their suit perfect for fucking, anyway?! Oh right, porn (Did I say that the costume designs were fantastic?)! The Joker pounds both of their pussies and shows them that at least in bed, he’s not a bad joke at all!

Every movie involving superheroes has a capitulation which ends with a fantastic battle or clash between the antagonist and protagonist. In this case, it’s different because it’s Batman and Superman. After a heated exchange of words, the two of them are interrupted by the Amazonian Wonder Woman who chastises them for their “childish behavior,” and with her voluptuous body, shows them how to be real men…by giving her a super fucking. SUPES has a secret cock compartment as well!? Well, these guys really thought this through! As a funny afterthought, how Wonder Woman didn’t break Batman’s boner with her firm meta-human grip, we’ll never know. Ouch. She doesn’t need a whip to get them to tell the truth, at least not when she has such an incredible snatch to do the job for her. They cover her in cream and let bygones be bygones, but this isn’t the end – not by a long shot.

Final Thoughts:

This film blends together a cogent storyline with actual dialogue which gives these porn performers the opportunity to shine as actors – and they surprisingly do a fantastic job of not simply impersonating their character, but by actually becoming that character. The choreography of the fight scene is noteworthy, as it knowingly (or unknowingly) pays homage to the Batman Arkham series in the way Batman disables the henchmen. Finally, the sex-scenes are awesome as well. Between the catch-phrases being thrown around and no one actually moving “out of character” while fucking, the entire movie was that much more entertaining. I didn’t feel compelled to fast-forward at any time during the film – that’s saying something.

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-Thrill Clinton