Not Another Porn Movie

Scene One
We had so much fun reviewing Erika Lust's latest film scene by scene that we're doing the same for Joanna Angel's Not Another Porn Movie. The queen of alt-porn has taken it upon herself to spoof every ridiculous porno you've ever had the misfortune to watch. The first scene features Tommy Pistol as a pizza guy (of course) who's ready to deliver. The opening is brilliant as Angel loses her shit over the protesters set up outside the shoot. The entire scene is hilarious, but you shouldn't overlook this little gem in the dialogue: "It's just porn. How can something so stupid be targeted for having such serious effects on the world?" Amen, sister! There are also a number of little things I really appreciated, like the boom mic being in the shot (I've seen that a million times) and I laughed out loud when the sex begins and the camera pans to a three piece band playing a typical porno beat. Of course, I should talk about the sex. It's a great scene that features Pistol serving up the sausage to Pinky Lee. The sex is pretty straight forward, but definitely hot as Lee pays for her pizza the only way she can. Just for the record, I delivered pizza for two summers and got nothing but religious tracts and grief about how long it took.
-The Porn Librarian

Scene 2

Here we go again, checking out our girl Joanna Angel's hilariously dead-on porno spoof. This week we're up to scene two, an anal romp staring Pixie Pearl as the obnoxious porn star and James Deen as the cable guy who's filling in for the perpetually late and charmingly dim Tommy Pistol. I literally laughed out loud as Pixie stares blankly into the camera, then to Joanna and mutters "what's my next line?," then after Joanna feeds her the simple phrase, gets it wrong anyway. Not that it matters, because the reverse cowgirl and doggie style butt-fucking and clit rubbing about to ensue makes up for all the purposely lame-o dialogue they could possibly dish out. I love how flushed Pixie P gets as she takes all James Deen has to offer up her ass. But the best by far is when Tommy comes in at the end, all hurried and babbling excuses and some guy randomly tasers him. I'm not even sure if it's real or part of the script, but it pretty much made my experience - teenage boy Jackass style.

Scene two was pretty good, but I accidentally caught a few minutes of scene three as I was finishing up, and holy hot, you guys are in for a treat next week!

-J.D. Bauchery

Scene 3

Boy, do I have a thing for girls in glasses. And January Darling does not disappoint as Joanna's slutty secretary, all dolled up in a suit, pearls and super cute cat eye frames. She gets the ball rolling with an "innocent" offer to rub the weary Joanna Angel's back in this, the third scene of Angel's dirty movie spoof. Ooop - January! That's not her back!

I love when Joanna makes it perfectly clear that this is a scene when she yells for people to "clear set" to get all the crap off the table they want to fuck on. Brilliant! Even better when January gets on all fours and takes Joanna's big pink jelly dildo up her cunt.

Would it make me such a girl if I also mentioned that I love Joanna's shoes? Cause I totally do. Joanna, with your fuck me heels high in the air, you make me want to do just that.

-J.D. Bauchery