Ask Mike Volume One

In a nutshell: your average biology lab teacher hosts a spanking clinic in your Nana's living room, with a cheerfully accommodating Barbie doll of Amazonian proportions.

The shocker: it totally works! Spanking is deconstructed and demystified, but it's still hot, too. After a brief how-to explaining, (among other things) where to aim on butt cheeks for maximum safety & sensation, Mike tests a variety of implements on Kordelia Devonshire's generous bottom. We observe first-hand the stirring effects, exceptionally captured by Oh Tee Kay.

Who this movie would appeal to: Newbies, obviously. The curious, certainly. People who like reality porn, probably. Quite possibly, most of us -- Mike and "Kordi" (as he calls her) share an easy, light-hearted rapport that's a pleasure to watch. He does a great job explaining each implement, and then he milks 'em for all the sensation they're worth. Kordelia thoroughly & unabashedly enjoys herself, and provides invaluable feedback. You almost have to be dead, to not appreciate this movie on some level.

There's lots of info in Ask Mike, but rather than spill all Mike's secrets here, I'll hit his main points briefly so I can better describe the spankings themselves (which by the way are smokin').

Mike's Rules (six of the important ones, at least)

1. Decide whether this spanking is for pleasure or punishment (this movie concerns spanking for pleasure)
2. Make sure party to be spanked is secure & comfortable
3. Start slow
4. Spank only the meatiest part of cheeks
5. Rubbing is always nice, and appreciated
6. The bigger the implement, the harder to control


As you can see, Mike's a practical guy, with good sound advice. He doesn't stand there inert, spewing boring rules, either. He's more of a -- pardon the pun -- hands-on instructor. He describes what he's doing, while he's doing it. He's got a relaxed, unrehearsed demeanor that's easy to tune into; very believable. For a pudgy, no-neck, middle-aged guy, he's grows on you surprisingly quickly.

Kordelia is tall, blonde and meaty -- but not in a fat way at all. We first see her in a skin-tight dress with black spiked heels. After some over-the-clothes warm-up spanks, Mike pulls her dress up to smack her taut black panties on cool ivory skin. Of course, soon after that, those panties strip off to show rosy-hot cheeks with endearing jiggles.

From the hand, we move onto a leather paddle, which he uses to stroke Kordelia's butt. "It's always nice to let them feel what's coming," he offers. After some light paddling, he switches to what he called a brat tamer: looks like a bamboo back-scratcher with flappy fringe on one end. Also, it's apparently rattan, not bamboo. Whatever, she digs it!

Mike raps Kordelia's ass with it, to her obvious delight. He changes it out, though, for one made of a buncha plastic weed whacker cord, fastened like a giant pastry brush. He says it feels heavier than the rattan one in his hand, but she says it actually feels lighter on her butt. She likes them both, though. Mike observes that the rattan one makes a nice noise. We also see how these brat tamers can feel nice on the soles of bare feet!

They experiment with a thin wooden paddle that reminded me of those balsa wood paddles with a rubber ball at the end of an elastic cord, you know what I mean...? You bounce the ball off the paddle...? Anyway, they sting! Mike contradicts one of his own rules (let person feel implement before you smack 'em) by sneakily switching implements and delivering a firm whack that catches Kordelia off guard. Pleased with himself, Mike points out that the element of surprise is nice, too.

They try another paddle ("the stinger"), and then a hairbrush (she really seems to like the bristly side). He mostly spanks gently, but every so often he hits hard enough to illicit a cry, a gasp, a surprised giggle. He addresses her reactions, discusses how she's feeling and manipulates each implement various ways to produce different sensations.

She removes her shoes, dress & bra -- she's naked, except for a patent leather cincher around her middle. She bends over the couch, standing, while Mike explains how far to step away, for proper contact. He also goes over various approaches, "flicking" vs "thudding," and demonstrates a seriously interesting leather strap that all the ladies, apparently, go wild for (Kordelia agrees it feels great).

She's adorable, way up on her bare tip-toes, hair falling forward, eyes closed, lips peacefully smiling. "Inaccuracy causes real pain, so be careful with your aim!" Mike urges, between carefully-placed smacks, and soothing strokes.

She kneels on the couch; he switches to a wooden ruler that makes her squeal, "Motherfucker!" when it hits her sensitive checks, and then everyone sorta tumbles into laughter -- you can even hear the camera man. Speaking of him, by the way: he does excellent work. This movie provides a great mix of views, from her red butt to her glowing face. Sound hits the mark, too. No complaints here.

Finally, Mike announces it's time to finish her off with some caning. He stands her up again, legs together, bent over couch. As she waits, he goes over how a cane isn't an easy implement to go light on. If you do, they often can't even feel it. But if you go even just a little harder, it hurts. In other words, there's really no middle ground, as far as canes go -- they're always gonna sting.

As if to prove his point, she cringes & cries out when the first crack lands. With the second swipe, she launches outta position, yelps, "Holy shit!" and I think I even hear her sniffling. Four more, he tells her, and she dutifully braces herself for her last licks.

At least, she tries to. Mike eventually feels obligated to stress one last rule: if your target starts moving -- stop! "You might hit something bad if you keep swinging."

I don't blame you for squirming, Kordelia, Mike did an incredible job heating your cheeks up for almost an entire hour. I think we've all learned something today.