Fat Beach Patrol 4

There’s trouble on the high seas, as Captain Ahab and his moronic all-male crew discover. They’re sailing peacefully on their pirate ship when one of the guys spots a whale swimming in their direction and casts his net. They’re appropriately perplexed when the "whale" turns out to be female — a human female, Zazie.

"Maybe we should throw it back in," Cap’n Cortex suggests. "Hell no — I wanna fuck it!" shouts Rick Masters, ever the discerning type. Zazie gobbles his knob, fucks him in a few different positions and generally handles her prey pretty well. It’s difficult to get good penetration shots on big girls under normal circumstances; given the fact that the performers are actually on a real boat on the ocean, we can forgive the shadows that render ECUs nearly impossible.

Nothing endears a vid to this reviewer like transition shots of dead fish — all the better to set up SinDee Williams’ entrance. Williams is hoppin' mad 'cause Masters fucked one of her Fat Beach Patrol members. "Blimey," mutters one of the guys, dumbfounded. After SinDee attempts to make small talk with Dick Nasty, she learns he once fucked a mermaid who looked just like her. Dissolve to Williams in a mermaid costume — although somehow her legs are quite human in the reverse-cowgirl position.

And then there’s the tape’s highlight, as a shark crashes into the boat. Is it a shark? Looks more like the Satanic rabbit from Donnie Darko. No matter; the ladies are hungry, but Williams manages to get some clit action from the Rabbit/Shark/whatever instead.

The big lesbian oil orgy finale is a disappointment compared to this thrilling scene, but how can we resist the creative touches that make this chubby-chaser vid a standout from the usual bored-looking motel-room sex?

AVN received this tape too late to qualify for this year’s nominations; mark down an early pre-nom for next year’s Best Specialty Tape — Other category.

Review from AVN