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Ultra Flesh Box Cover

Studio: VCX
Director:

Approximate Running Time: 01:28:01
Released:1980
Custodian of Records
CWM Porn legend Seka stars in this sci-fi romp, one of the best outings of her stellar sexvid career. Th More

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Editor's Review


Though clearly the least effective of femme filmmaker Svetlana's fledgling efforts, coming hot on the heels of her delectable debut 800 FANTASY LANE and its follow-up masterpiece "F", this supremely silly science fiction spoof still offers plenty of reasons for longtime porn fans to revisit and cherish, starting of course with its starry cast. The potent combination of name performers with tons of pretty young things (then) new to the industry was to become this director's distinguishing trademark and, according to the lady's naysayers, her sole claim to fame. It says a lot that this movie's almost a third of the way in when she finally gets around to introducing the supposed star attraction, peroxide princess Seka, who looks absolutely to die for by the way. Not that time has been wasted up until then, except when they stick to the corny and cumbersome plot, never a Svetlana forte by the way.

After the STAR WARS type opening scroll informs us that in the near future the world's male population has turned impotent, presumably to their increased sugar consumption (?) and threatening the propagation of mankind, we're whisked off to the Oval Office as the US President (handsome Tyler Reynolds in a subtle comedic turn among the high ham quotient that surrounds him) desperately tries to navigate his country out of this latest crisis. Congregating with South American sugar supplier Sugarman (Jamie Gillis), he and his frustrated First Lady (played by another platinum pixie, second stringer Angel Cash, which might confuse newcomers who'll think it's Seka) are offered an extended display of local lust to ensure that the sweet stuff's definitely not to blame for the declining erections across the border. Two cute young couples are wheeled in on dinner trolleys. Blond surfer dude Jesse Adams receives dedicated oral attention from lovely Terri Dolan, the girl in the opening scene with Aaron Stuart in Robert McCallun’s equally star-laden COED FEVER, while toothsome Tawny Pearl (the put-upon baby sitter from Carlos Tobalina's finest film SEXUAL HEIGHTS) takes on curly-haired David Rosen, a flash in the pan stud also in Carter Stevens' TINSELTOWN.

Fireworks are provided by none other than Candida Royalle, the "real" future Femme filmmaker, lowered trapeze-wise onto a ready, willing and obviously very able Mike Ranger for an outlandish sex scene, set amidst a timely flurry of furiously flapping disco dancing extras, that just about defines what adult's alleged Golden Age was all about. Topping it all off is randy midget Luis De Jesus, messing with the tightly wound Cash under the table, cunning linguist that he is, unaware to the additional dignitaries. Once these have left, Sugarman shows his true colors. He's actually an alien from the freezing planet of Freon, kicked off his native land by global warming (eerily foreshadowing our own destiny?) to relocate to Earth which is heading for another Ice Age, attempting to get rid of its populace with the libido-shredding substance passed off as sugar!

Ah, but fear not, because an intergalactic commission decides to save our sorry planet's rear end by sending in superhero Ultra Flesh (tadaah!) who can emit a powerful laser beam from her unmentionables that inspires instant hard-ons. She draws strength from a totally gratuitous yet eminently pleasing Sapphic threesome with the Smith sisters (luscious Laurie and rarely seen Piper, a Suze Randall discovery also in "F"), scrumptiously shot by the late Gary Graver with the type of intricate hazy lighting that looked fabulous on theater screens but is sure to play havoc with scaled down TV monitors and scored with the same haunting melody employed by Radley Metzger on the classic Central Park encounter between Barbara Bourbon and Marc Stevens in his PRIVATE AFTERNOONS OF PAMELA MANN. John Leslie's introduced into this group almost as an afterthought, emphasizing once again just what an embarrassment of riches Svetlana had at her fingertips.

Supported by an army of aptly named Fleshettes (including the likes of superstar Serena, Kandi Barbour and Little Oral Annie, billed under her real name Andrea Parducci), Ultra Flesh sets about re-invigorating the world's male members, starting with those belonging to its leaders. The nervous scrawny guy with the hairy chest is George Mitchell, who also appeared in Jourdan Alexander's classic TAXI GIRLS. Uncredited Kelly Nichols and Ron Jeremy share a blistering backyard bang. Bountiful Lisa DeLeeuw, as investigating scientist Dr. Wissenall (German for know-it-all), pretty much falls by the wayside as the movie hurtles from one insane set piece to another, trying to cram in as much as time and budget would allow. These include a seeing is believing chase sequence involving bicycles and a baby pram and the re-appearance of the paper mâché prosthetic prick from 800 FANTASY LANE, now painted blue and doubling as an intended weapon of mass destruction!

-Review courtesy of DirtyMovieDevotee