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We're in the throes of the spookiest time of year, and while the hair on the back of our neck is sticking up – so is something else! There's something titillating about feeling frightened, and if you're as turned on by being spooked as we are, then you'll love some of these sexy, unconventional, and undeniably scary porn scene settings.

A Haunted Hearse – Hearse Jerk

Oral sex in a stolen hearse that also happens to be driving around a graveyard? Sure, it’s daylight, nothing can hurt you, but God’s sweet sunlight never penetrates the cracks of this dark death-mobile. The blowjobs from the miscreants look like fun, but who wants to shit their pants while getting blown?

Horror Hospital – Necrox

Marco Nero's Italian horror fantasy features the creepiest sex hospital in Europe, and that’s a high bar. The dim lighting, cold clinical setting, and smooth metal slabs of the morgue make the deserted hospital in Halloween II seem as safe as a playground for war orphans on a warm spring day.

Storage Unit of Doom – East Coast Booty: Jess

Okay, so it might seem like that Craigslist ad will change your life, but be sure to tell a friend where you’re going, especially if you’re on your way to film a scene in a darkly-lit storage unit! Amateur model Jess is definitely a trooper, clearly having a good time with the sex while the rest of us fear for her safety. This was the place Ted Bundy was conceived, right?

Hell Behind a Mirror – Through The Looking Glass

This is a horror porn classic – and not just because it features Jamie Gillis as a creepy father. The surreal orgy in the hellscape in the final scene is unnerving as hell, still to this day. Not just a classic adult film, but a legit scary and well-made horror movie all around.

Government Warehouse – Shadow Army

Fetish studio ZFX Productions really excels at putting the SCARES in bare. Their dimly-lit, filthy, wide-open sets are ad hoc, cheap, and on the fly, like any good and disturbing 80s horror movie should be. The dark warehouse in the final scene of Shadow Army is just one good example of ZFX’s reverence for B horror movies. Poor Candle Boxxx is restrained and at the mercy of scary government agents and a terrifying, violent, unseen entity, and the big, open warehouse lets the threats and the tension come from all sides for our damsel in distress.

Clown Car – ScrewberX

Clowns in a car! Should I say any more? Well, the scene only starts in Dana Vespoli's Screwber, and the sex takes place in the beautiful Dana Vespoli's home surrounded by Pennywise dicks in a brightly-lit playroom that resembles a Vietnam vet’s flashback. Pure nightmare fuel – you’ve been warned.

Dark Dungeon – Grunge CP

Kshara Productions is a hard fetish studio that knows its authentic dungeons. But the dungeon in this film looks like one of Jigsaw’s traps come to life, and the gas masks bobbing around in the dark add to that uneasy feeling. It’s dank, it’s dark, it’s deserted, and you’ll smell the mold and decay as if you were there. Turned on yet?

Bathroom Hell Loop – The Devil In Miss Jones

Another superlative creepfest from yesteryear. The film itself is more disturbing than anything else, but the final scene with Georgina Spelvin masturbating and begging Gerard Damiano for sex while stuck in her own personal hell will stick with you, especially in this final scene.

The Cabin In The Woods – Teens In The Woods: Marsha May

Brick Danger's kinky series should be titled Teens In The Woods? like a question, because I question if any of these teens make it back to civilization. Marsha May's trip into the deep dark woods is especially scary, because it begins with eerie daylight tracking shots of the woods and an unnerving voice-over. Camper Marsha May unwisely decides to engage in some premarital necking (lesbian necking!) before creepy park ranger Brick Danger gets her to his isolated cabin. I’m not implying that Brick Danger skins his victims, but I do believe this scene contains a human lamp shade or two.

Spider-Web Thrift – Erectnophobia

Spiders and sex – no thanks. Absolutely terrifying. What’s even more terrifying than a hungry spider sinking its fangs into your exposed genitals? Cheap 90s porn sets. Randy Spears and Danielle Rogers fuck on nylon rope resembling a spider's web. We’re not screaming GET OUT OF THERE NOW! We’re screaming THIS WAS THE BEST THEY COULD DO? And those mullets… brrrr!


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Topics:Halloween