Confessions of a Sinful Nun is one hell of a promising debut from writer/director Ricky Greenwood from those saintly sinners at Sweetheart Video. Ricky has a unique vision obviously born from a love for exploitation cinema, more specially nun-sploitation. So, Ricky Greenwood is a kindred spirit of mine, and the first thing to wet my lips over this film was a sneak peek at the cover art in the press release. It’s sexy, and has a oh-so-70s retro feel... that doesn’t quite deliver what that image evokes. But that’s what every good exploitation film and carnival barker does; shock-cinema fan and auteur Ricky Greenwood obviously knows this. The story and weighty themes of repressed lesbian desire take a backseat to Ricky Greenwood’s appreciation for retro style. Euro-sleaze auteur Jess Franco would be proud. But I’ve hardly forgotten what’s important here, sex fiends. The girl-on-girl couplings are quite titillating... in all the best ways, and even with more than a few moments of (gasp!) tenderness. The girls all have a slightly mousey chemistry together, but it works nicely. They are nuns, after all.

Ricky Greenwood also has quite the eye for detail. His story feels a tad incomplete by the end, but the dialogue rings authentic, as do the ill-fitting, baggy costumes, serving to set up the sex scenes with a quiet intensity. See, detail is important. Hardcore fans of shock and sex cinema will be happy to see Ricky Greenwood has been influenced from the great nunsploitation titles from Jess Franco’s Love Letter’s of a Portuguese Nun, Ken Russell’s beguiling classic The Devils, and let’s not forget Meryl Streep’s horny nun in Doubt. (Okay, let’s forget that.)

However, if nothing else has convinced you to check out Ricky Greenwood’s debut, Nina Hartley plays Mother Superior (more on that later).

Scene 1 – Naughty Nuns With Naughty Peepers

We begin with Charlotte Stokley confessing her sins to a priest (James Avalon in a non-sex cameo). There’s been a new arrival at the convent and a nun’s life is a lonely life indeed, and Sister Charlotte seems to have a burgeoning crush that’s been giving her some sleepless nights. She welcomes cute newbie nun (played by Lily Adams) with kind words and a sip from a flask (apparently sister Charlotte is a drunk… which makes her very relatable in my opinion).

Later, Lollygaggers Darcie Dolce and Penny Pax miss Communion, and a slightly irritated Mother Superior sends our delightfully repressed heroine out to retrieve them. Sister Charlotte stumbles upon the duo undressing each other out in the open, in broad daylight. She’s quite taken aback at first, but as fiery Sister Penny sucks and nuzzles Sister Darcie’s beautiful natural breasts, she’s not that taken aback, but quite hungry.

Sister Charlotte is entranced by Sister Penny’s asshole as she arches her back and pleasures Sister Darcie with her tongue. Was that the eye of God we just saw? Sister Charlotte seems to think so...

Scene 2 – The Virgin Test

Next, Sister Charlotte councils Sister Lily about dealing with the loneliness of the convent. Their fingers touch over a clothesline, and the audience realizes horny Sister Charlotte really needs to take her own advice. Later, after Sister Lily plants an impromptu kiss on Charlotte, the tension is too much to take and Sister Charlotte retreats to her chambers to peel off her habit and pleasure herself (and us). Hot damn, Charlotte Stokely’s creamy thighs look amazing in those white stockings. Unfortunately for Sister Charlotte, things are about to get more awkward…

Sister Lily relays the story of how she came to be at the new convent, and yes, it involves forbidden lesbian sex. They also discuss their forbidden kiss, and Sister Charlotte admits that, yeah I’m totally into that. Cue the sensuous sheet washing; there is so much sexual tension amidst dirty laundry in this film (it’s called subtext!)

Suddenly, Mother Superior ever-so-gently demands that Sister Charlotte perform a virginity test on newbie Sister Lily by using her trembling fingers to search for a hymen. A reticent Sister Charlotte agrees, and did I mention how Sister Charlotte’s fingers (and those beautiful eyes) tremble…Charlotte Stokley and Lily Adams really nail this scene with just the expression in their eyes.

And, voila! Charlotte does indeed find a hymen. All is well, or is it?

Scene 3 – Sticky Fingers Are Forbidden Fingers

Afterwards, Sister Charlotte breaks down in tears (and on broken glass) during a crisis of faith now that she’s fingered a nun (finally!), but luckily she is counseled by a sympathetic ear from Sister Riley played by Riley Nixon. She knows how Sister Charlotte feels for the newbie nun, and shares her own forbidden experience with Sapphic love. We flashback to Riley Nixon and Lea Lexus whispering their sultry sweet nothings as they slowly kiss and give in to eternal hellfire. Sister Lea’s fingers find themselves deep inside Sister Riley, and then those ill-fitting habits come off. This is a sensual sex scene with plenty of pussy eating and great energy. These two girls fuck like they’re never going to fuck again, and they don’t since Sister Riley is shipped off to a new convent not long after. A great coupling by Lea Lexus and Riley Nixon – these are two hungry nuns!

Scene 4 - Nina, The Wicked Nun?

Mother Superior pulls cute little nun Mona Wales aside, and they share a surprising revelation… okay, in this convent, maybe not so surprising. Sister Nina pulls off Sister Mona’s habit and rustles her hair, and they begin to kiss and taste each other. Yes, these two servants of God have a tender sexual history together. As they try to slowly swallow one another from mouth to pussy, the passion between these two women ramps up into some beautiful orgasms. It’s definitely a coupling with a power imbalance, and Nina Hartley’s Mother Superior holds the power, but it’s surprisingly subtle It’s a gorgeous and sensual sex scene, and not quite where I anticipated Nina Hartley’s Mother Superior character would go. I expected Mother Superior to pull out paddles and whips at some point, but instead, we get slow wet kisses. Mother Superior prefers romance to punishment.

Scene 5 – Repression (and Habits) Unzipped!

Some time passes and Sister Charlotte has a reunion with Sister Lily, now an honest and true nun. Since they’re both amongst drying, white sheets blowing in the wind when this revelation occurs, they finally decide to consummate their forbidden love. Sister Charlotte and Sister Lily slowly disrobe in the grass (they do leave the crucifixes on). They pleasure each other with their fingers and their mouths, and Lily’s Adams moans ring like music to the ears… and genitals. Sister Charlotte devours Sister Lily’s pussy as if the Rapture was about to happen at any minute, and brings her new lover to a rather intense and satisfying orgasm. Sister Lily then plants her mouth on Sister Charlotte’s pussy lips and returns the favor with vigor. Both Charlotte Stokely and Lily Adams end this film with some great orgasms… and sacrilege for good measure.

Ricky Greenwood clearly takes his inspiration from the world of exploitation and crazy cinema, but he goes for a more sensual and restrained approach with his sex scenes. Both Charlotte Stokely and Lily Adams bring an authentic sweetness to their sex scenes that helps fuel their erotic energy. Nina Hartley has stated that she usually avoids roles that mock any type of spirituality, but thankfully Ricky Greenwood brings some class to his Jess Franco homage, and this convinced Nina to get on board with the project, and the film is all the better for it. Nina Hartley has enough sexual energy to make anyone cum onscreen... and she can legitimately act. Confessions of a Sinful Nun features a great Nina Hartley performance, but I have to admit, I was aching for a more wicked Mother Superior, but Nina, the cast and Ricky Greenwood go for a more gentle, sensual approach. Back to my original point, sometimes great exploitation gives you want you NEED and not always what you WANT.

(And I will always want more Nina Hartley.)


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