Clerks XXX - A Porn Parody
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2014 AVN Award Nominee for Best Editing.
2014 AVN Award Nominee for Best Art Direction.
2014 AVN Award Nominee for Best Parody - Comedy.
B Skow and Vivid Premium are back with a truly outstanding XXX porn Parody! Dana is unhappy with her mode of life...and her job as a smut-jockey in a porno XXX store. She's juggling with an ex who has a wandering eye and cheats and a new boyfriend whose sexuality is a bit more than she can handle. Now she's working on her one day off, dealing with smart-ass co-worker Randi, a riot of anti-condom crusaders, some customers who can't resist coming all over the peep booths, a gerbil-loving customer, and guy who eats his own cum... and lets you know it. Will she make it through the day, or finally make a change?
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While it may not seem like it on the surface, porn parodies are actually a multi-layered experience. Sure, they can get you off, but they can also offer up a less charged and scary way for people to engage with porn, and they can draw out memories that you totally forgot surrounding movies and shows you watched long ago. Take Clerks XXX – A Porn Parody, for instance. It’s been a minute since I even thought about the movie Clerks, let alone watched it, but lo and behold, the minute I saw this parody in the recently added, all of my teenage angst and love of the movie came flooding back. Oh parody porn, you are amazing.
Anyway, today I am reviewing Vivid’s Clerks XXX – A Porn Parody, which, like the real version of Clerks, follows a day in the life of a store clerk. This time instead of a convenience store, it’s a sex toy/porn shop. The movie starts with Dana (Allie Haze) coming in to open the shop – putting out product, dressing the mannequin and blowing up the sex toy doll (which I think is Joanna Angel’s doll). Soon the customers come in and the day begins with one annoyance after the next. Like the guy haranguing the other customers about the dangers of condom use. Jeez, is Dana even supposed to be there today?
Oh man, the best are Jane and Silent Bertha, the “Jay” (Chastity Lynn) and “Silent Bob”(Kelly Divine) of this flick. Jane is ready to “suck some dicks and turn some trick,” and she can “suck a volleyball through a curly straw.” Seriously, that is the best line. Or is it “try not to get fucked in the ass on the way through the parking lot”? Yep, just like there real movie, this version is filled with quality one liners.
But you didn’t come here for the banter; you came to talk about the sex. Like Allie Haze and Seth Gamble banging on the floor behind the counter in scene one. While the floor is fucking disgusting, it’s easy to ignore with how nasty they are (in a good way). They make out for a long time before getting their fuck on in a whole bunch of positions, including Haze on top while Gamble reddens her ass with smacks. One thing I’ve noticed about Allie Haze that I love and haven’t mentioned before is her delicious dark brown nipples. I don’t know if it’s just them against the shade of her skin, but there is something about her nipples that I find kind of striking. And I see a lot of naked tits.
Another one of my favorite scenes is number five, with Lexi Swallow and Allie Haze getting it on. Dana decides to give happiness a try and goes for Randi, the other clerk and her best friend. It’s not long before they are fucking all over the store, ending up on a big red couch. I love watching them lick each other’s pussies at the same time, but the best is the mutual masturbation with vibrators at the end. Their legs are intertwined and they cum together, trembling and moaning in unison. Such good stuff.
The sex is really hot, but for me, the banter and nods to classic Clerks is what did it for me. Thanks Vivid.